Tuesday, January 15, 2013

This Dog Kills Me Dead



I keep having to remind myself that Cedric is hardly a puppy anymore. I mean, he's ten months old, which in dog years is an adolescent... which means he has was more personality than the tiny bladdered wrinkle puff we first brought home. And way more determination.

Case in point. Yesterday I was working from my home office as I often do, and I was working furiously on the phones to get through my extremely large list of to dos. Cedric was chewing contentedly on a toy beside me. And then I smelled it. A cedric toot. Vile, inescapable because I was on the phone, and lingering. I cracked open a candle and waited for it to dissipate. Five minutes later--another. I nearly threw up. At this point I escorted our puppy-pants of smelly shame to the kitchen where I left him for an hour of work uninterrupted by the stench of heinous flatulance. And then I started to feel guilty.

Round two. Cedric sits across the room from me, chewing on his toy, happy as a clam. Three farts later and I lock him out of the office, giving him the run of the apartment. How does he repay me? He starts to whine at the door.

Round three. It only takes one fart before I get over my guilt, put him back in the kitchen to stew in his own gas, and work for another hour, blissful. I think after that he ran out of gas, because I didn't smell another one all day long after this second stint in the slammer.

Also last night, Cedric decided to sleep at our bedroom door while HubSand and I cuddled within. He began to snore. The dog, not the HubSand. So we decided to try and sneak up on him, because we're very mature folks. We crept from the bed, tiptoed to the door. Opened it veeerrrrrryyyyyy quietly, and where about to startle the Cedric when his head snapped up from what looked like a dead sleep, to stare at us wide eyed. We couldn't stop laughing. Add to that the fact that he refused to stand up after that (we literally rolled him around the floor like a pillow or something for about five minutes before HubSand finally picked him up and set him directly on his feet), and you've got yourself two very amused puppy parents.

Excuse me... Adolescent Dog parents.

1 comment:

Sandi said...

I really cannot put enough emphasis on my next sentence:
I. FREAKING. LOVE. DOGS.

Also, congrats on the female growing inside of you!!!! IT'S SO FLUFFY I COULD DIE! (or something like that? I can't remember what the little girl says about the unicorn? also your child is probably not so much fluffy as it is...covered in amniotic fluid?)